In my quest to complete my Dirty 30 Challenge, I have decided to share a true story with you.
When it’s “OK” for Men, to go to the Bathroom Together!
I know, coming from me, a germ-apho, a guy who enjoys the public bathroom empty when I use it, this sounds alarmingly strange. I am saying from real life experience, when it is OK to go to the bathroom with another guy. Yes we all know girls go in droves together and spend countless hours doing who knows what? BUT NORMALY MEN SHOULD NEVER GOTO THE RESTROOM TOGETHER! I am not talking about random men meeting in a public bathroom, but I am talking about when 2 guys are out on a double date with 2 girls, and one kicks the other under the table and says “I need to use the restroom” and Man B says “Oh, so do I, I will join you, wait here ladies…”
Back in my dating year, 99+ years ago… I used to enjoy random dating, and dated a lot of girls. I knew how to have fun, and I knew how to attract, and keep a women’s attention long enough until I got bored. I have countless, humorous stories that will come when I decide to share.
A buddy of mine and I had meet a couple of knock-out, drop dead gorgeous girls, the night before while out clubbing. (not killing seal’s, but actually participating in going from dance club to dance club…ewe I was that guy) We hung out for a bit, long enough to get their numbers and set up a dinner date the follow night.
We meet them at the restaurant, and they were “fashionably late” by 30 minutes or so, but looked amazing! I mean they had every man gawking at them. We felt “pretty good” about ourselves. We were quickly seated after their arrival in the main “trolley” of the place. The girls were giggling, laughing at our jokes, and then HORROR STRUCK IN!
They opened their mouths to talk!
“oh my gosh, like your so totally funny, like oh my gosh, I totally love, that you love life, like wow!” Seriously? Did we have that much to drink the previous night that our EARS had shut off! How’d did we miss we had just picked up two chain smoking, barbie dolls, with out brains??? It was horrible, the second they opened the menu and were, “like seriously, oh my gosh, i don’t know if Back Street Boys or Nysnc are hotter, like oh wow, serious debate”… They were not even READING, odds are they probably could not read.
OK this is a NO BRAINIER! This calls for…
Men Going to the Bathroom Together!
SO I kick my buddy under the table to get his attention, and I sure did… He looked at me with that “that hurt, what you do that for?” look. I gave him the, we need to talk and we need to talk now.
At first, he did not understand, so I kicked him again, gave him the, “I am dead serious, get off your butt and meet me at the bathroom” look. He stood up, “exscuse me ladies I need to use the rest room.” In which I quickly replied, “oh me too, great idea, I’ll join you, don’t you go any where ladies… we’ll be right back.”
We get to the men’s room, I start to wash my hands, and give my hair a one over, while he’s all over me repeatedly saying “dude, what’s your problem? I’m starved let’s go order.” I finished drying my hands, and said, “you ready to get out of here?, cause I am, and I’m driving!”
The blank stare and reboot of his brain was priceless.
“WHAT are you nuts? are you kidding me? These chicks are smoking… besides that would be rude of us, dude way low.” I let him rant, and catch his breath, before I replied, “They are way to stupid for us, we deserve way better, i’ll buy you a burger and a beer somewhere else, Let’s go.”
Lucky for us the bathrooms were located right by the front exit and out of line of sight of our dim-witted, bad choice of a selection for a date, girls. We quickly shut our phones off, and booked it running, out to our car, like the cops were chasing us. Jumped in the car and Indy 500 it out of the parking lot!
Looking back, do I feel guilty. YES! I should have drank less the night before, and really did my homework, talked a bit more to them before wasting the valuable youth of my life!
I hope you can find the humor in this as I was barley 21 and didn’t know my left hand from my right.